The Fall from Grace
by Castiel Lecter
Summary: Fallenleaf has given everything to her clan. Scorned, and despised after an incident, how will she stand strong? Ta ta, Castiel Lecter Im.D.
1. Smelling Gray

Fallenkit crouched down, sniffing the air. "Gotcha!" Brightkit squealed, leaping squarely on Fallenkit's back.

"No fair," Fallenkit yelled. The blind kit bristled, throwing her littermate off. Brightkit purred in amusement. The white she-cat licked Fallenkit's shoulder in apology.

"Fine, fine. Are you okay?" Brightkit studied her sister with bright blue eyes. Fallenkit was the runt of the litter. Slight, with a smooth, gray-blue coat, she didn't look anything like their white-furred mother or their hazel-coated father. Her eyes, despite being sightless, were the most brilliant blue-green Brightkit had ever seen.

"Yeah," Fallenkit sniffed haughtily. She sat up straight and continued, "I'm going to be the best warrior ever."

"You wish! I'm going to be leader one day," Brightkit yowled. She bared her teeth and slid into a hunter's crouch.

Fallenkit smirked. She could smell the fresh smell of leaves, the scent of her sister, the other cats milling around, the milky scent of the queens, and then- something else as well. Fallenkit stretched on the ground, sniffing the air again.

"Brightkit, is Timberheart gray?" She asked suddenly. Timberheart was the deputy of their clan, and also their mother's littermate.

"Yeah. Who told you?" Brightkit asked.

"No one," Fallenkit said seriously, "He smells gray."

Brightkit yowled, "Liar! How can you smell gray?" Her voice was scornful, indignant.

"I'm not lying!" Fallenkit snapped, furious, "He smells smoky, like... like a burning branch."

"You've never even smelt a burning branch! How would you know?" Brightkit meowed, irritated. She curled up, feigning sleep to ignore her sister.

Leafclaw, their mother, nudged Fallenkit sleepily. "Go to sleep too, darling."

Fallenkit wriggled away from her mother. It wasn't fair. Why was she blind when both Brightkit and Lionkit could see? Why her? She lashed her tail angrily, pacing across the den.

Fallenkit sniffed the air and found the opening of the nursery. A fresh, lively smell floated from outside.

Fallenkit hesitantly picked her way across the floor and walked outside. The smells assaulted her, along with the sounds. She could taste the sunlight on her tongue, hot and spicy. She felt alive. Why was Leafclaw and Lionkit so sleepy when there was such magnificence out here?

Fallenkit continued her journey, smelling, listening and tasting to feel her way around.

She could hear a keen, whispery sound in her ears and a minty taste in her mouth. The medicine cat was nearby!

Fallenkit had never understood why, but even though she could not see, her other senses were jumbled up, taking the place of her eyes. No cat would believe her, though, so she tried to keep her mouth shut.

"Fallenkit! What are you doing outside the nursery?" Pebblesage demanded. The medicine cat nudged Fallenkit gently.

Fallenkit harrumphed. "I wanted to explore," she responded truthfully.

"Does your mother know you're out here?"

"Well..." Fallenkit looked at the ground. She could smell Pebblesage's amusement, a warm and delicious aroma.

"Go back to the nursery, Fallenkit," he said sternly, before heading off.

Fallenkit narrowed her eyes. She lifted her head defiantly and continued her expedition. Unfortunately, a paw gently stopped her.

Fallenkit recognised the distinctive scent. "Oakstar!" She gasped.

Her leader purred. "Come on, back to the nursery you go." He picked her up by the scruff and carried her to the nursery.

"Oakstar! Fallenkit! Where were you?" Leafclaw demanded. She bounded forward, and took Fallenkit, "Thanks, Oakstar. I swear, this won't happen again."

Fallenkit squirmed beside her sister and brother to evade her mother's licking, and yawned.

Oakstar purred. "That's okay, Leafclaw."

Beside Leafclaw, Fallenkit yawned again and fell asleep. Her mother gently licked the top of her head.


	2. Why Me?

"Fallenpaw! Brightpaw! Lionpaw!" Cheers rang out in the air. Fallenpaw stared emptily at the ground with her sightless eyes, trying to push back the pang of jealousy at her siblings. Pebblesage nudged her. "Don't look so miserable. Being a medicine cat is also a noble pursuit," he said.

Fallenpaw watched as Lionpaw boasted to his mentor, Hawkclaw, and as Brightpaw nuzzled Echoflight, her mentor. They would become warriors. Not her, though. She lashed her tail and fought back her self pity.

Lionpaw said, "Hey, Fallenpaw, you alright? You look down."

Fallenpaw snapped, "Who cares? I'm just the blind cat." She stalked off angrily. She heard the whispers behind her, but she really didn't care. A stupid medicine cat! She fought back a snarl.

Fallenpaw headed out into the forest, something she wasn't allowed to do without supervision. Her mood was as black as the shadows as she wandered around, inhaling new scents.

She stopped abruptly. Squirrel. If her senses were right, it was located on a branch, cheerfully ignorant.

Fallenpaw tasted the air. Yes, there it was. She stalked forward, feeling nervous. Could she do it? A blind cat, hunting?

She leapt. Her paws touched something and her claws slid out, impaling it. Its cry rang out in the air, making her flinch.

Fallenpaw froze, dazed with wonder. She had done it. She carried the squirrel in her jaws proudly. Her pride tasted sharp and heavy, filling her jaws like the scent of the squirrel.

Fallenpaw purred, nearly dropping her prey. She dragged the squirrel back to camp, anticipating the response eagerly.

When she arrived, every cat grew silent. Fallenpaw carried her prey to the fresh kill pile, tingling with smugness.

"How'd you-" Lionpaw broke off. He stared, blue eyes round with shock.

Fallenpaw couldn't see their reactions, but she could hear the loud, whining sound of amazement in her head, and also a fresh, icy scent of shock that burnt her nose. She swung around, and stalked off to the apprentices' den.

"Fallenpaw, wait. You might think I'll turn you into a warrior, but hunting isn't the same as fighting. We can't lose you," Oakstar said evenly, "Fighting sightless is impossible."

"I caught a squirrel without training! Why are you doing this?" Fallenpaw wailed in fury. Her fur stuck up, she trembled with anger and dismay.

Oakstar said nothing. Fallenpaw dipped her head dejectedly. Sometimes, she wished her father was still alive. Thunderblaze had been the first deputy, brave and strong. He had perished before his kits were born, however.

If my father was here, he'd stand up for me, Fallenpaw told herself. She slunk towards the medicine cat den and curled up, ignoring the voice of Pebblesage. He finally gave up and walked off.

Leopardpaw went into the den with her littermate, Hawkpaw. "You think you're so clever, don't you? I bet you just found the squirrel on the ground or something, you liar," she snarled.

Hawkpaw hissed, "You're pathetic!" The two ran out of the den, apparently having delivered their message. They were jealous of her, Fallenpaw realised.

She dug her claws in the ground, furious. How dare they!

Suddenly, an image flashed through her head.

_She was Leopardpaw. Her father snarled, "Come on, your mentor's been telling me you haven't even caught a mouse! You're my kits, at least give a little decency." She cringed. _

_And then, she was watching Fallenpaw drag the squirrel in. Hot jealousy and anger, like burning coals,filled her from head to tail. She exchanged a look with Hawkclaw._

_Even the blind cat was better than her. Hate poured into her, and misery. Why was she so useless?_

Fallenpaw gasped. For one moment, she had seen the world through Leopardpaw's eyes. How? She pondered that carefully.

Suddenly, Brightpaw appeared. "Are you alright?" She meowed

Fallenpaw purred. At least, her sister was on her side. The weird vision fled her mind as she said, "Fine. Leopardpaw and Hawkpaw came in and said I cheated, though."

"Ignore them, they're just jealous," Lionpaw walked into the den as well.

"Thanks, guys," Fallenpaw said.

"That was amazing. How'd you do it?" Brightpaw squealed.

"No idea," Fallenpaw said honestly, "It just happened, like I smelt it and just leapt."

"You should definitely be a warrior. Oakstar's just crazy," Lionpaw growled.

"Sorry I snapped at you, Lionpaw," Fallenpaw said meekly.

"No problem," he replied. After a while, they left, leaving a happier Fallenpaw staring after them. What would I be without them? My siblings are the only ones that understand me.


	3. My Fault

Shrieks and yowls filled the air. Heart racing, Fallenpaw stood in the medicine cat den, listening to the bloodshed unfurl before her. Her mentor had instructed her to stay put, and so, with utmost reluctance, she had.

It had been moons since she had become an apprentice. Shadowclan had attacked them again, claiming Thunderclan had stolen prey. That was totally untrue, Fallenpaw thought, bristling.

Suddenly, a cat slammed into her, taking her by surprise. The Shadowclan scent flooded her jaws and she yowled in fear.

So many scents and sounds and tastes, all at once. She couldn't breathe as the cat above her swatted at her head with a powerful paw.

For a moment, she saw through the eyes of that cat.

_She was Wolfclaw of Shadowclan. Thunderclan had stolen their prey! Anger filled her. She launched herself at cats, tearing and slashing, tasting the blood._

_And now, this puny apprentice, she would destroy her, teach her a lesson she would never ever forget._

Claws raked down Fallenpaw's side. She screeched in pain, wriggling, bewildered and frightened. Too many scents and sounds and tastes, all at once. She groaned in agony.

And then, the weight above her was gone. Her mother yanked Wolfclaw off of her, and the two leapt at each other, claws unsheathed.

Fallenpaw couldn't breathe. She couldn't see what was going on. She needed to see what was going on. Panic flooded her.

She could hear yowls of pain, and then, a dull thump. Leafclaw whimpered once, then uttered no sound.

"Leafclaw!" Fallenpaw cried out, heart racing.

The Shadowclan cat moved closer, ready to finish off Fallenpaw as well, when, suddenly-

"Shadowclan, retreat!" Wolfclaw hesitated a split second, before running out of the den.

Fallenpaw moved, stricken, towards her mother. She pushed her nose into the soft fur. The coldness, the silence; this wasn't her mother, not anymore.

"Leafclaw!" Brightpaw wailed. She bounded forward and nuzzled the body.

"It's all your fault!" Lionpaw spat. Fallenpaw could feel the hate, the disgust, rolling off his body.

"You killed her!" Brightpaw snarled savagely, "You're not worthy to be her daughter!"

"You're not our sister anymore!"Lionpaw hissed, "It's your fault! Yours!"

Grief filled Fallenpaw. She stumbled away from them, from their hate and from the coldness of her dead mother.

"It's not her fault," Pebblesage said quietly, "If anything, blame Shadowclan. It's no use fighting each other, not at this time. Get some cobwebs, Fallenpaw."

Fallenpaw did as she was told, feeling numb and empty. It's my fault, she told herself, my fault.


	4. Fox Trouble

Fallenpaw tossed her head back and cheered, "Lionroar! Brightpath! Lionroar! Brightpath!" Her littermates were full fledged warriors now.

Lionroar cast her a cold glance. "I don't need you to be happy for me." He said flatly.

Fallenpaw recoiled. She took a step back, nervous. Lionroar was huge now, with broad shoulders and huge claws. His deep russet coat gleamed sleekly, as his blue eyes narrowed at Fallenpaw.

"What's wrong, brother? Is No-eyes giving you any trouble?" Brightpath said. She bared her teeth at Fallenpaw, who slunk off, not wishing to cause any trouble.

Despite how they treated her, Fallenpaw still loved them both, and they would always be her littermates. She was so proud of them: Lionroar was one of the best fighters, while Brightpath was a skilled hunter.

Fallenpaw crept towards the training area to listen to cats train. It was her favourite thing to do. She learnt fighting moves through spying on the warriors lecturing their apprentices whenever she had spare time. Unfortunately, Pebblesage had also noticed this.

"Where do you think you're going?" He said sternly, "You're not a warrior, Fallenpaw."

Fallenpaw's tail drooped. "Well, I should be. I can fight, I can," she meowed.

Fallenpaw hadn't changed much. She was still small and sleek, with a lovely blue-gray coat and large blue-green eyes. She clashed constantly with Pebblesage, who didn't really know what to do about her.

"Come on," he said at last, "Let's go gather herbs."

They headed out together: Pebblesage resigned, Fallenpaw sulky. Suddenly, Fallenpaw stopped. She sniffed the air carefully.

"What's wrong?" Over time, Pebblesage had learnt to trust his apprentice's uncanny sense of smell. He stiffened up. "What's wrong?"

"It's a..." Fallenpaw froze. "It's a fox! Run!" Her fur stuck up as she spun around.

"Fox? Where?" Pebblesage said, ever the voice of reason as he attempted to calm his panicky apprentice.

"Near. Very near," Fallenpaw whimpered, "We have to guh-" A fox leapt out of the bushes, snarling. Its red coat was dull, clumped together, and it was painfully thin- and hungry.

Pebblesage yowled, "Run!"

Fallenpaw ran, flank to flank with Pebblesage as they streaked towards camp. Fallenpaw stopped abruptly and said, "We can't lead it back to camp. Pebblesage, find a band of warriors! I'll lead it off."

She spun and headed off into another direction, throwing taunts at the fox as she did. "Come on, mouse brain! Can't catch me? Pathetic!"

"No! Fallenpaw!" Pebblesage called. He hesitated, then ran to camp, yowling at the top of his voice, "Fox! Fox! Oakstar, we need warriors!"

Fallenpaw ran, her lungs bursting. She glanced back and saw the fox nearing. She skidded to a stop and leapt at the fox, taking it by surprise. She landed on its head, digging in her claws to keep her balance as it bucked back and forth.

Fallenpaw raked her claws across its face and back, holding on for dear life. The fox bellowed and flung her off with one massive fling.

Fallenpaw collapsed at the foot of a tree, head spinning. She tasted ginger as the fox leapt at her, and using all her strength, slid underneath it as it jumped. Colours flashed before her eyes.

The fox slammed against the tree, while behind it, Fallenpaw, body filled with weariness and pain, dragged herself back up and ran. All she could think of was how she didn't want to die, not here, not now, not ever.

The band of warriors had arrived! They sounded like a bird's song, Fallenpaw thought, trying to ignore the sound in her ears.

They were running towards her, but they weren't fast enough. The fox landed on Fallenpaw's back and she cried out. Turning around, she dug her claws into the soft belly, tearing with her teeth. The fox trembled convulsively and bit Fallenpaw with its sharp teeth. The two hung on, both unwilling to let go even as their strength sapped.

Suddenly, two warriors tore the fox off Fallenpaw. "Are you okay? Oh Starclan, please let her be okay!" A familiar voice cried out.

Fallenpaw blinked. "Lionroar?" She croaked, "Brightpath?" Her littermates lapped at her coat, burying their noses into her fur. That was all Fallenpaw could remember before she blacked out.


	5. Good Tidings

_Fallenpaw was a fox. She had been starving for a while, especially after having her cubs. _

_The cubs had died, all but one. Sorrow and pain filled her as she remembered. _

_A scent filled her nostrils suddenly. Food. She nuzzled her cub, the only living one and told him, "I'll get food. Stay here." Without food, she could not produce milk. She had to hunt, so she could provide for her little one._

_She chased after the two cats, wild and desperate. But one of them insulted her, taunted her. She ran towards that one in a fury._

_Alas! The cat fought her! The pain as claws dug into her, the agony! All she could see was her cub crying out before she died._

Fallenpaw jerked awake. "...she needs rest!" Pebblesage said loudly.

"She's awake!" Lionroar bounded towards her.

"Fallenpaw, we're so sorry for everything!" Brightpath said miserably.

"We're so sorry. Will you forgive us?" Lionroar mumbled.

"'Of course," Fallenpaw said, more relieved than anything that her siblings were talking to her.

"But why? We were so mean to you," Brightpath said, ashamed.

"I don't care. I just want you by my side, because we're siblings," Fallenpaw said determinedly.

"We saw you... and you were covered in blood... and then, we realized how much you meant to us," Lionroar meowed. "You've been out cold for two days already, are you alright?"

Pebblesage interrupted, "And please, she needs rest, as I was saying."

"You killed a fox by yourself! Unbelievable!" Lionroar said enthusiastically, completely ignoring Pebblesage.

"I'm okay, Pebblesage. I feel better when they're here," Fallenpaw hurriedly told the medicine cat.

Pebblesage sighed and nodded. Meanwhile, Brightpath squealed, "A fox! No one has ever managed to kill a fox! You were so brave!"

Fallenpaw was silent. "What's wrong? Are you alright?" Lionroar said anxiously.

"I'm fine," Fallenpaw said, "I just... the fox, she had a cub. She just wanted to keep her cub safe, get food."

"Uh... are you sure you're alright?" Lionroar said.

Brightpath kicked him and said to Fallenpaw, "You were defending your clan. It doesn't matter whether she had cubs or not. She attacked you, and you retaliated.'

Again, Fallenpaw was silent. When she did speak, her voice was raspy. "I felt her pain. Her sorrow. She was thinking of her cub when she died, did you know that?" She croaked.

Lionroar and Brightpath exchanged an alarmed look. They obviously thought Fallenpaw had suffered a little damage to the head and wasn't feeling alright.

"It's true! She was- she was in agony! And I-" Fallenpaw said a little too loudly than needed, her voice rising every second.

"Fallenpaw, can I talk to you privately?" Oakstar emerged, "Without Lionroar and Brightpath?"

Fallenpaw nodded and her littermates headed outside.

"I want to make you a warrior. You have proved yourself to me, that a blind cat can also fight,"Oakstar said awkwardly, "I am sorry. Sorry that I thought you couldn't- wasn't a warrior." He stood there, watching Fallenpaw.

Fallenpaw froze. "I'll let you think this over. You haven't recovered yet and you need time to think," Oakstar said, nodding.

"Oh-okay," Fallenpaw squeaked. Her heart was racing. Oakstar left, leaving her to her giddiness. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She yowled.

Pebblesage cast her a queer glance but chose not to comment.

Finally, something was going right for her. Finally, people realised her worth. Reassured by this, Fallenpaw fell asleep again.


End file.
